The "Know it All" knows best...

I seem to be getting all my best material these days from Linkedin so I guess I will continue the trend with yet another response to a Linkedin Q&A. This one is regarding...

How best to deal with the know-it-all prospective client?

Today I had a discussion with a potential client (although I doubt it at this point) who was interested in some asset protection planning. He was very intelligent but had been mislead in the past about the usefulness of a particular structure. Of course this prior attorney was brilliant, and I knew if I challenged him he would take insult. I knew he would view any contradiction as a personal insult against his own intelligence. And I was right. When I informed him that his prior attorney had not really helped him very much, he was quite upset. How do you deal with the "know-it-all" client who wants to tell you how to do something, and what they are telling you is wrong????

There is a great book that can assist you with "people dealing" called, Skill With People- Les Giblin and it is a timeless classic for those interested in successful relationships and interaction with people. There is a brief (all the chapters are brief) chapter on "How to Skillfully Agree With People" that talks about mastering the Art of Being Agreeable. Without going into a lot of detail about the components of being agreeable, I will share (from the book) the "why" or reasons for being agreeable; which may help you work toward the "how".

- People like those who agree with them
- People dislike those who disagree with them
- People do not like being disagreed with.

Pretty simple stuff huh? In my mind, this is how it boils down: I want to feel important (as do we all) and when I am made to feel important I feel better about myself, my purpose and a bunch of other things. Since I know that I share this sentiment with every other person on the face of the earth it will help me deal with them because I know we are after the same things. I will go out of my way to make someone else feel important (even if they are wrong about a thing) because this is how I want to be treated. (Such as being agreeable with someone who is wrong something)

In short, I deal with a know it all person the same way I deal with someone who does not know it all. I use courtesy, discretion, diplomacy and tact to agree with them but most importantly, I listen to them and allow them to express how I might help them. If they truly want my help, they will state it to me (directly or implied) and I will confirm that they wish my assistance by asking, "We have spoken about a lot of things and I am not certain we agree on all of them, but would you really like my assistance in dealing with _________? If so, I am willing to help you as much or as little you would like. Then I shut up... (like now)