Today I got a cold call...

It has been a while since I chimed in with any thoughts so I took the occasion to vent about the call I just received from a fellow cold caller. Now, I am not usually accustomed to critique (unless I am asked for my two billion cents) but I could not pass this one up. Imagine, The Cold Closer, getting a cold call... and a very poor one at that. So let'er rip...

This was the intro, "Hi". (not bad, but don't most people respond in kind?) I return the "Hi" with my own... so our friend responded with another, "Hi". (nothing else) After a short pause, "I found you on A Social Network... my name is Marlon Wayans" (names changed to protect the guilty)

There was a brief exchange (it was so bad I do not recall... and it was just 10 minutes ago) but the message was for me to follow a link to a website. (that my friend was going to provide over the phone) Keep in mind, there was no, "Do you have a minute? or Did I catch you at a good time?" Just, "Hi" and the "Silence of the Lambs". (Claaaaariiiiiiissssse)

Anyway, I thought I would play along (since I had him on speaker phone and I could finish importing the database for an important client project while talking and listening) to see where this was going to lead. Actually, I knew where it was going because my friend had not been to Cold Closing University. (shameless, huh?)

I ask my friend to email the link so I could validate on my own time... after I abruptly ended the call.

This one sealed it for him... "How is the weather there?" (the kiss of last breath... for him) I told him it was hot and muggy. (or something like that)

He sent the link...
I told him I got it...
he ask if I could follow it...
I clicked it...
he ask if I could login in...
I told him I would have to do so later...
he said, "It's just a couple steps... shouldn't take more than a minute."

My turn... (sweet silence)

After the terrible (but oh so fun) pause, he said "Hello..." and I knew his time had come. (He who talks first gets to call back at a later date)

"My friend, I will have to check this out at another time and get back to you... (I have a soft heart for cold callers, so I even gave him a chance to recover) perhaps we can set a time to talk about it once I have looked it over?"

"Well, I guess I will know if you join... " and he did not even want to schedule a time to follow-up. (after all that, he just wanted me to join a social networking site; which he could have sent me via a shared social network or direct email)

Huh? So, you mean he wasted a handful of our life with a cold call (poor, poor cold call) that could have been done in a passive manner... and all he wanted was for me to join a social network?

What's the lesson? I don't know... think one up.

Today I got a cold call...